Japan, and I will not be taking questions. I know, I know, everyone says Japan, which is exactly the problem and exactly the point. Millions of people cannot all be wrong about a country where the vending machines are better stocked than my kitchen and the trains arrive on time to the second. I come from a culture where a train running only ten minutes late counts as a personal triumph.

I want to eat ramen at a counter so small that my elbows have to negotiate. I want to bow at a shrine, get it slightly wrong, and be forgiven anyway. I want to stand in Tokyo at night looking up at all that neon and feel suitably tiny and underdressed.

Mostly I want a country that takes its snacks, its manners, and its public bathrooms seriously. That is not a bucket list. That is a values statement with a flight attached.