Mr. Collins has proposed, Elizabeth has refused, and Mrs. Bennet knows exactly where to appeal. This episode is the complete audiobook of Chapter 20 of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, in which the fate of the match is referred to the library, and Mr. Bennet delivers the finest single verdict of his career.

Mrs. Bennet demands her husband make Lizzy marry Mr. Collins, promising never to see her daughter again if she will not. Mr. Bennet summons Elizabeth and lays out the terms with perfect gravity: an unhappy alternative is before her. From this day she must be a stranger to one of her parents. Her mother will never see her again if she does not marry Mr. Collins, and he will never see her again if she does.

• Mrs. Bennet works every angle on every listener, alternating threats about her nerves with pleas for family duty, and finds nobody willing to help her.
• Mr. Bennet’s judgment, delivered deadpan from behind his book, settles the question in a single sentence and delights everyone but his wife.
• Charlotte Lucas arrives on a well-timed visit and absorbs a full account of the morning’s disaster from every party willing to give one.
• Mr. Collins, his pride wounded past repair, withdraws his suit with resentful formality, assuring Mrs. Bennet he meant it all for the best.