Every Shrove Tuesday and Ash Wednesday, the Derbyshire town of Ashbourne becomes a playing field. Royal Shrovetide Football pits the Up’ards, born north of Henmore Brook, against the Down’ards, born south of it, with goals three miles apart at the sites of two old mills. Shops board up their windows, cars are moved, and a huge scrum called the hug pushes a cork-filled, hand-painted ball through streets, parks, and the freezing river for up to eight hours.

This episode explains the mechanics and unwritten rules, from the first instruction not to commit murder or manslaughter to the way players inside the hug elect who will goal the ball. We explore the game’s contested origins, including a lost archive, a severed-head legend, and a 2012 discovery linking a 1909 ball to the French town of Tricot. Then we look at how Victorian schools and the 1848 Cambridge rules turned mob football into modern soccer and rugby while Ashbourne refused to change.

• Runners, river specialists, and why nobody actually kicks the ball
• From prehistoric stone-moving and Roman harpastum to a 12th-century London account
• The 1928 royal start that earned the Prince of Wales a bloody nose
• Soldiers playing the game in the French trenches in 1916
• Local slang like turner-up, duck, and the defensive cry of down with it