I think the first thing I’d ask is:

“Why are you here?”

Not “Are we alone?” because obviously that question would have answered itself.

Not “How did you get here?” even though I would absolutely want to know.

And probably not “Do you come in peace?” because that feels a little too much like volunteering for the opening scene of a science-fiction movie.

I’d want to know what brought them.

Curiosity? Exploration? Science? Resources? Accident? Have they been watching us for a long time and finally decided to introduce themselves? Did they cross an unimaginable distance because they found something interesting about Earth, or are we just the cosmic equivalent of a roadside attraction?

I think their answer would tell us almost everything we needed to know.

And then my second question would be:

“Have you read Dungeon Crawler Carl, and if so, how worried should we be?”

Because after reading enough science fiction, I feel like humanity has earned the right to ask a few follow-up questions before anybody starts installing mysterious alien infrastructure.

After that, I’d have about a thousand more.

How old is your civilization?

How many others are out there?

What do you know about the universe that we don’t?

Do you have music?

Do you have dogs?

And maybe the biggest one:

Are we doing okay?

Because if a civilization advanced enough to reach us had been around long enough to survive its own technological adolescence, I would really want to know what they figured out that we haven’t yet.

So yes, my first question would be:

“Why are you here?”

My second would be about Dungeon Crawler Carl.

And depending on their answer to that one, there may not need to be a third.

If aliens arrived tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d ask them?

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